The Hunger for More
Is Your Ambition Leading You or Driving You?
Welcome to the Lead by Design Newsletter. Each Saturday, I send a newsletter to leaders motivated by their faith who are ready to step off the default path. I’m on the journey, sharing what I am learning about moving from leadership by default to leadership by design—equipping you to lead yourself, your team, and your organization for growth and for good.
“When a man desires a thing too much, he at once becomes ill at ease. A proud and avaricious man never rests, whereas he who is poor and humble of heart lives in a world of peace.” — Thomas à Kempis
Lead by Design always starts with leading yourself. Recently, a friend in my men’s group shared a few quotes from Thomas à Kempis on the topic of “unbridled affections.” It hit me with the force of a mid-afternoon wrecking ball because it spoke directly to a struggle I have wrestled with for years: Ambition.
In my upcoming book, Live by Design, I dig deep into the “default” path of the high-capacity leader. For most of us, ambition is the engine. It’s what got us through the late nights in community college, the grueling shifts in the city, and the long seasons of building organizations from the ground up. But Kempis offers a sobering warning: when that ambition becomes “unbridled,” it doesn’t lead to the summit. It leads to a soul that is “ill at ease.”
The Remorse of the Default Path
Kempis notes that the “unmortified man” is quickly overcome by small, trifling evils. He becomes quick to anger if reproved and sad when he has to forego his earthly desires.
Does this sound like a leader you know?
The executive who can’t handle a “no” from the board.
The founder who feels a physical sense of loss when a project is delayed.
The leader who satisfies their desire for growth only to find a “remorse of conscience” because the win didn’t actually bring the peace they sought.
We think that satisfying the passion for “more” will finally bring rest. Kempis argues the opposite: True peace of heart is found in resisting passions, not in satisfying them.
The Two Hearts of Ambition
As one of my mentors, Stephen Graves, often says, ambition is a morally neutral concept. It isn’t inherently good or bad—it gains its moral weight from what we attach it to. He describes this as the “Two Hearts” of ambition:
Self-Serving Ambition: Rooted in ego and the flesh. It is what Jim Collins calls “the undisciplined pursuit of more.” It leaves you empty, stuck, or full of regret because the target is your own glory.
God-Centered Ambition: Rooted in useful outcomes and linked with a larger eternal plan. It offers a peace that will always elude the self-centered leader.
The difference isn’t necessarily the intensity of the drive, but the target. As Stephen points out, the Apostle Paul didn’t lose his “get-it-done” drive after his transformation on the Damascus road; he simply changed his heart and the target of his drive.
Ambition: Asset or Liability?
In the framework of Lead by Design, ambition is a powerful IQ and EQ tool. It helps you see the strategy and move people toward it. But without PQ (Presence and Self-Awareness), ambition becomes an unbridled affection.
When your ambition is lopsided:
You become the bottleneck: You can’t let go of tasks because your identity is tied to being the “Responsible” party.
You bulldoze the “Quiet Voices”: Your drive to win overrides your ability to listen to the Nurturers or Guardians on your team.
The Resistance that Leads to Peace
To lead an ambitious life by design is to recognize that we are Stewards, not Owners. If the business, the book, or the mission is truly “His,” then the timeline belongs to Him too. Resistance isn’t about killing your drive; it’s about bridling it so it serves the Purpose rather than your Ego.
The Practice of the Integrated Leader
As I continue writing Live by Design, I am constantly reminded that the most difficult person I will ever lead is the one in the mirror.
Identify the “Ill at Ease”: Where in your business or life do you feel a nagging restlessness? Is it a strategic problem, or is it an “unbridled affection” for a specific outcome?
Embrace the Reproof: The next time a team member or a spouse challenges your vision, watch your reaction. Are you “quick to anger”?
Practice Presence (PQ): Find the world of peace that Kempis describes by being humble of heart. Remember that your value is not the sum of your achievements.
P.S. Anytime you are ready to stop leading by default, and start leading by design you can send me a message.
Very interesting! I just started reading Imitation of Christ. I thought this note you made was interesting:
“The leader who satisfies their desire for growth only to find a “remorse of conscience” because the win didn’t actually bring the peace they sought.”
I think growth in some contexts operates like a drug . Because growth always says we can have more even if the means aren’t not there. Not against growth but I also think it demands needs be changed.
It’s that timeless notion that sin promises much, but will never actually satisfy